Feelings Never Die
by xxmerthurxx
Summary: 'As I watched him fall, my own heart fell with him.' Despite all the hatred that had become Merlin's and Morgana's relationship, love was still there. ***WARNINGS*** Mergana, future fic, major character death, suicide and loooong A/N. ; For CB93. X


**A/N Helllo. This was written a while ago now. Max two months. I'd wrote it on paper then typed it up and then I tried uploading it but for some reason fanfiction decided not to work and I've only just got round to uploading it. :/ Anyway, this is for CB93 (I think names right :3 ) who requested a bit of Mergana when I was writing my 'Please Arthur and other Drabbles' series. Never really read Mergana but I have recently which brings it to a total of 2/3. ;) They've all been beautifully written though. The one that really inspired this though was for Valentines day. I don't remember the author although I think it was Naisa/Nasia, one of them, but yeah, erm it was a bout how Merlin would always bring Morgana roses and even after everything they'd been through with Morgana trying to kill everyone, she still found a rose on valentines day. It was beautiful so that's why I think it was from the author mentioned up there ^ Anyway, I'm gonna shut up cuz this is going to be longer then the story ;) OH! And btw, this is based on the true Arthurian legends. I will explain more at the bottom if you can't figure out why. ;P  
>****WARNINGS**** Major Character death, suicide (hence the T rating.) Future fic.<br>CB93: Hope you enjoy it, and if your names wrong, feel free to mention it and I will change it. :) X**

"Face it Merlin, Arthur is dead, there's no point in fighting anymore. Camelot is mine. Join me and your life will be spared." I sneered at the sorcerer in front of me. After two months of raging battles, Mordred had finally succeeded in ridding the world of my brother, leaving me free to reign as Queen of Camelot. The only person left standing in the way is Merlin.

"I would rather die then join with you." he bit back, standing up straight and proud.

"So be it." I said before hurtling a spell towards him. He didn't even try and stop it. It hit Merlin directly in the chest and his heart gave one last beat before he fell to the ground. As I watched him fall, my heart fell with him. Memories of lakeside picnics, sneaking in and out of each others chambers, late night rides in the woods attacked me. Memories of laughter and…of love.

They disappeared and all that I could see in front of me now was Merlin lying still… lying dead. I rushed to his side and knelt beside him. I touched his hand, I touched his cheek. What had I done? I let out a scream. Why did I do this? What went wrong? I lifted his head and laid it down on my lap. A tear dripped onto his forehead. I knew I was crying but I didn't care. Why did I let so much hatred envelope me? Why did I let it grow to the extent of it controlling my life? It got in the way of me and everyone who had ever cared about me. It got in the way of myself and Merlin. It grew and grew and grew until finally, finally I killed the person I had cared about the most. This was never suppose to have happened.

As I sat there, carding my fingers through Merlin's greying hair, tears racing down my face, the pain grew to an unbearable amount. I lifted my face to shake hair out of my eyes and that's when I saw it. A dagger. I gently lifted Merlin's head off my lap and laid it down on the floor before I got up and walked over to where the dagger lay. I picked it up before going back to kneel beside Merlin's head. I rolled my sleeves up, revealing my pale, slender arms. I brought the dagger to my left wrist and held it there for a moment. Taking a deep breath, I allowed my right hand to move, causing pain. The physical wasn't as bad as the emotional pain I felt. I stopped before switching hands. Soon, both my wrists were leaking blood. I dropped the dagger. I could already feel dizziness and weakness taking over my body. I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to Merlin's in a chaste kiss. I pulled back just an inch and whispered the words that seem so foreign to me now: I love you. I allowed myself to curl up next to Merlin, head resting on his still chest, evidence that he isn't asleep but really dead. I remember how I used to lie like this after having a nightmare and Merlin was the one to comfort me. I smiled. This nightmare is almost over. I allowed my eyes to drift close, knowing they would never open again.

**A/N N'aww. Mergana is quite a good couple although not as good as Merthur. ;) Anyway, in the Arthurian legends it is Morgana who is suppose to kill Merlin while Mordred kills Arthur. OMG! Who's heard that Mordred is suppose to return in Season 5 yet Asa Butterfield WON'T be returning to play him? *Cries* I like Asa. He's only a few months older then me ;) Anywaaaay, yeah. Quick note about Revenge. I do feel like I'm neglecting it and you readers but I haven't been well, my Grandad died beginning of this month, I'm currently at my illest right now and I still don't have my own charger so most of the time I've gone without a laptop. :/ On the plus side, it is Easter hols now so I will get some writing done as writers block for Revenge has sort of gone away. :P I will also update Top Trumps Matchmaking. :) Peace!  
>Please review. :)<strong>


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